Let’s address this upfront: the film Madame Web, hitting theaters on February 14, doesn’t deliver its most iconic line. That moment, which sparked countless memes in certain corners of the internet, is confined to the trailer. In the actual movie, newly gifted paramedic Cassie Web (portrayed by Dakota Johnson) never utters the line “he was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died.” While all those words do appear in the film, directed with both style and a hint of desperation by S. J. Clarkson, they’re never strung together in that particular order.
This might disappoint those expecting Madame Web to embrace its potential for campiness. While the film does have its share of silliness, particularly in its final moments, it ultimately falls short of being outright terrible or meme-worthy. It’s a peculiar movie, with its tortured journey to the screen being perhaps its most compelling aspect.
Madame Web is ostensibly tied to the Spider-Man universe, yet it hesitates to fully commit to that connection. Set in 2003, Cassie is friends and colleagues with Ben Parker (played by Adam Scott), who will eventually become the beloved yet doomed uncle of Peter Parker, a.k.a. Spider-Man. Although Ben’s sister-in-law (portrayed by Emma Roberts) is pregnant with a child we know to be Peter, his name is never mentioned. It feels like there was once an intention to make this connection explicit, but the final cut of the film leaves it as a frustrating tease.
How do we currently feel about superhero movies? Not great, judging by recent box office performances and reviews. Madame Web seems like a relic from a bygone era, a risky attempt at mining intellectual property that might have fared better several years ago. Alternatively, it could be seen as a throwback to an earlier era of comic book adaptations, reminiscent of films like Catwoman (2004) rather than the slick productions churned out by Marvel Studios.
Is director S. J. Clarkson intentionally evoking this nostalgic aesthetic? She incorporates plenty of period details into the film, but it’s unclear if Madame Web is meant to be a self-aware commentary on past trends or if it simply misses the mark.
The performances in Madame Web are subdued, with Dakota Johnson delivering a minimalist portrayal that feels out of place in a movie that demands dynamism and a willingness to embrace its absurdity. Tahar Rahim and Sidney Sweeney also struggle to make an impact, hindered by underdeveloped characters.
Despite its shortcomings, there are moments in Madame Web that shine, particularly when it leans into its offbeat chase sequences and Clarkson’s unique visual style. Dakota Johnson’s dry humor adds personality to the film, standing out against the formulaic snark of many contemporary superhero movies.
However, Madame Web ultimately loses its way as it rushes towards a lackluster action climax, leaving Johnson’s character tangled in exposition and failing to fully explore her supernatural abilities. It seems Cassie’s full potential will remain untapped, destined for a sequel that may never materialize.
In the end, Madame Web stands as a curious relic of a genre grappling with its identity crisis. Despite the industry’s relentless output and pursuit of synergy, it seems the powers that be failed to anticipate the genre’s eventual decline. Some might call them prophets, but perhaps they were simply caught in their own web of uncertainty.
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